this time.... last year

this time.... last year! And so begins my trip down "memory lane." I woke up this morning and thought about where I was this time, last year on June 8th. The memory is so vivid; it feels like it was just yesterday. I could barely get out of bed last year on this day, and when I finally did, I knew I had to get myself to the hospital. I finally was admitted for what would be a long week and a half of ups/downs; highs/lows; joys/sorrows; waiting and hope.

This time, last year, I was in the hospital, hooked up to machines, receiving blood transfusions, and being reassured that I just had to hold on a little longer. This time, last year, as the day wore on, I went into labor. I went into labor and was scared to death. For the first time, I wasn't sure if I was going to hold on to the little baby, and I feared for my life. This time, last year, I was set to deliver by C-section. This time, last year, almost at this exact time, the contractions stopped, and I held on to hope that I was going to be the "Miracle Baby" story. This time, last year, I began an extremely intense roller coaster of emotions, and I remember almost every waking moment.

I am not really sure how I feel today; it still feels a little surreal. I just know that the next week and a half will be filled with memories of what happened those long days in the hospital, and what might have been.... I miss my little Austin....