"Some people only dream of angels; we held one in our arms."

Below you will find Austin's story in multiple parts in order to tell the full story of my pregnancy, his birth, funeral and the months following.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Out of the mouth of Babes...

So we had just put the girls down to bed, and Alyssa (my two and a half year old)began a very long conversation to herself. I sat in my room and listened and typed out what she was talking about:

"Hayley says I am a baby at Grandma Chapman's house, and I say No, I am not a baby. And I want mommy to have another baby and baby Austin is not in her stomach anymore. And baby Austin is a baby and baby Jesus is a baby and Austin is my friend, but Jesus is not my friend. (this part made me sad). Hayley is my sister. And my door is open so i can get out in the morning time. She's sad and Mommy's sad."

She gets out of her bed. I put her back and she said her bunny was sad. I asked her why. I said "Were you talking about Austin, and she said yes." She said, "Well Austin and Jesus." I said , Well Austin isn't Jesus." Then she said, "Well, Austin is friends with Jesus. (wanted to cry) I said, "who told you this?" She said, "I did."

I put her back to bed and when I leave the room, she starts talking again. She says, "I am talking about Austin and Jesus and Jesus isn't Austin. I told mommy that Jesus and Austin are friends."

She then proceeds to talk about her friends that are going to come over to her house the next day. I find it absolutely amazing what was going through her mind, as we hadn't even been talking about him or anything before bed tonight. We always say our prayers and remember him, but that was it. Amazing that she makes the connection so simply and can remember so clearly what we have talked about in the past. We have told her that Austin is with Jesus, and I think she equates Jesus to always being a baby (from Christmas), but still the connection is there and she knows they are together.

I think I needed this reminder today, as the drive home from work today, I couldn't seem to keep my mind off of him. And I thank God that I have this sweet little girl of mine for the precious reminder that Austin is indeed with Jesus, and they are in fact, friends!


  1. Awww... what a wonderful story.

  2. I'm always amazed at the simplicity of relationships and acceptance that children have. It's so sad that we become jaded with experiences that color that innoncent faith and recognition. Such easy tools for the devil, huh?

    I'm glad you had your little girl's innocent and confirming conversation to soothe your heart!

  3. I am always amazed at how much our young ones take in, how they are able to express themselves. Somehow being a part of their thoughts seem to make everything so simple. It's nice to be a part of their innocent thoughts, it somehow makes things less complicated and it's so calming. I'm thinking of you, sending you love and warm thoughts for tomorrow. :)

  4. What a sweet girl you have there. That was such a touching conversation to read, thank you for sharing. *HUGS*

  5. What a sweetheart your Alyssa is. x

  6. That is so sweet... what a blessing God gives us, and usually in the most unexpected places. Precious little baby girl, just working it all out outloud... sharing messages of hope and not even knowing it. A perfect reminder for us all.